


Turn Back the Time

by angelmira



Series: Long Time Ago Outtakes [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 18:18:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10972767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelmira/pseuds/angelmira
Summary: First conversation between Tony and Vision after The Avengers: Age of Ultron.





	Turn Back the Time

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I'm not abandoning Long Time Ago. My beta already had receiveved chapter 11 and we are going to finish the story. I'm currently writing chapter 16.  
> Second of all, I would like to thank all of my readers for taking their time writing reviews, hitting cudos or sending me pm's and asking about the story.  
> Well, finally the last, I have to thank DreadPirateWombat as usual for beta reading and editing. You're the best and no matter how much crap real life for both of us was this last year, we're going to push through this. :)

**TAKES PLACE AFTER THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON MOVIE**

                Tony Stark had never been known as a patient person. He had endured the silence as long as he could, the quiet in the Tower deafening with the loss of-

                Tony cleared his throat. Well, after things went south with Ultron, the Tower had felt empty. No one greeted him in the morning. Or talked to him throughout the day. The silence had been absolutely unbearable, and he had been desperate to hear a voice other than his own. Now it was only the second day since he had installed the new artificial intelligence, FRIDAY, in the Tower and it was even worse than the silence had been. Tony caught himself repeatedly asking for-

                "Are you alright, Boss?" FRIDAY's concerned voice filtered through his workshop.

                Tony's chest felt like something was squeezing his insides. FRIDAY's Irish lilt not the prim English tone he yearned to hear.

                "Yeah," he whispered. He felt tired to the bone from his sleepless nights; his brain was always spinning in circles, and he felt like he couldn't breathe with all of his regrets. He was so very tired of his life.

                If he could see into the future, he would never have suggested to Bruce this stupid, stupid, stupid idea of giving his J-

                Tony closed his eyes with defeat.

                "Mr. Stark?"

                And here it was. The voice that was killing him, because it belonged to the creature that Tony couldn't bear to look at. Every time his eyes landed on Vision, Tony wanted to rip out the parts that didn't belong to him and store-

                _Anyway..._ "Yeah, buddy?" Tony stared into the eyes of the android looking for some recognition. Just a glimmer of something that Tony couldn't even name. Something that belonged to someone _other_ than Vision.

                "Are you alright, S-"

                Tony was proud he kept his hands at his side, but he sure knew he would have ripped out Vision's vocal cords if he had finished the question with that particular title. Luckily for Vision, something of Tony's feelings must have shown on his face, because Vision hesitated slightly, then added: "Mr. Stark."

                It was obvious that Vision wanted to address Tony with the forbidden word. _Sir._ Not a living soul nor any of his creations were permitted to use that title in his Tower. Not ever, because Tony didn't need to fall to pieces in front of the Avengers or the new artificial intelligence he had designed.

                "Yeah. How the adjusting to the world's working for you?" Tony was exceedingly proud his voice only conveyed mild interest, rather than the impotent resentment he felt at the android's existence.

                "I am a bit confused by the situation," Vision inclined his red head. "Thank you for your concern."

                "Sure, buddy. Anything you need, just stop by," Tony quickly smiled and waited patiently for the creature to float out through the wall of his workshop or the ceiling. Anywhere would do, the important part was simply that Vision leave and not the manner of his departure. Why the hell he was still in front of Tony was a mystery.

                "Yes?" Tony asked, with a raised eyebrow after Vision continued to loiter in his presence. Again, Tony felt accomplished, because his tone was perfectly even, and no one could accuse him of impatience, least of all the floating android.

                "I am sorry for your loss," Vision said quietly.

                And wasn't _that_ a punch to the guts. Tony had hoped they would never have this conversation. He'd already lived through similar statements with the Avengers surrounding them. There was no point in repeatedly pointing out the obvious. Vision was not-

                Tony cleared his throat. No matter how much his heart was shattering, he stayed steady on his feet and continued, deliberately meeting the android's eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

                The blame rested entirely on Tony's shoulders. He had suggested they put the code of his dearest friend into the creature that could easily level the entire world, believing JARVIS's goodness would prevent the being from  burning everything to the ground. He'd made a mess of things. He had practically sacrificed his JARVIS like a lamb.

                When Tony's thoughts finally acknowledged the name he'd wanted to whisper so many times, the dam broke. Tony's eyes filled with tears and his body started to shake uncontrollably.  He didn't know how he ended up in Vision's arms, which were instantly wound carefully around Tony's shoulders. All Tony heard were Vision's apologies, in that beloved voice, that just killed him even more.

                "Please," Tony's hoarse voice broke. "Just shut up." He couldn't stand hearing JARVIS's voice from Vision's vocal cords. It was literally ripping him apart to hear them. He should be the one who would beg JARVIS for forgiveness, if the situation was different, if JARVIS still existed.

                It felt like his tears lasted an eternity, before Tony was able to separate himself from Vision's body and finally regain some of his dignity. "Sorry about that," he mumbled embarrassed.

                "Your behavior is understandable."

                Tony agreed; it sure as hell was; even if he hated to admit it.

_Stark men are made of iron._

                The familiar mantra from his childhood echoed in his head, and the room around him swam in his vision. After all, he had just been hugged by a Stark man (because JARVIS was family, and that made Vision family, however painful the relationship was)made of _vibranium_ , a metal far stronger than mere iron. Tony felt the beginning of laughter bubbling in his chest at how fitting the comparison was, for with JARVIS as his origin, Vision was already magnitudes better than Tony could ever be.  Instead of allowing himself to give into manic giggles, Tony took several deep breaths, keeping his teeth gritted against the hysterical sounds lodged in his throat.

                Breathe in. Hold one, two, three, four. Breathe out, one, two, three, four. After several repetitions, the tightness in his chest loosened, the room solidified around him, and he forced his hands to uncurl from fists he hadn’t even been aware he’d made.

                And the feeling of powerlessness returned. Even with his intelligence and resources, he couldn’t undo his mistakes. Even after all the mistakes he’d made, he still wasn't used to them. That wasn’t entirely true.

                 He was used to mistakes in the lab; no prototype was perfect the first time. You started with an idea, ran the numbers, made a model, and then it failed. So you tweaked the design and tried again, and again, until you got it right. The failures were important, because they showed you where the problems were, so you could improve the next version. So, those sorts of mistakes he was used to.

                He also used to making mistakes in social interactions; he was no good with people. Outside of his role of ‘Tony Stark, charming genius, billionaire, philanthropist’ he often felt like an idiot when dealing with people. Beyond the motives of greed, fame, and power, he often couldn’t fathom the reasons for their behavior. They weren’t logical and dealing with them made his brain hurt.

                 So, he’d accepted his limitations when it came to interpersonal interactions and, when he found himself out his depth emotionally (which was frequently with the Avengers and all the attending feelings they insisted on throwing at him) and instead of saying or doing something that would only worsen the situation, he’d learned to direct people to more appropriate companions, mostly.

                So, yes, Tony was used to mistakes, many of which he could easily overlook or learn from. But then there were the big mistakes, the HUGE ones that always seemed to blindside him. Like the colossal disaster that was Ultron. Like leaving JARVIS stranded in a world of code and leaving him alone while he was fighting for his own existence.

                Those were the mistakes Tony would never forget, the ones where he felt weighed down by his helplessness. There was no way to tinker and create something better, no way to FIX these mistakes.

                There was nothing for Tony to do but to process his grief (cry, sob, scream out the loneliness in the aching SILENCE of his workshop) like a big boy and get on with his life, even if he was so horribly ALONE without JARVIS.

To be fair (but who wants to do that?) he wasn’t completely alone. He did have a brand new artificial intelligence that terrified him, with a voice that felt like a knife twisting in the vicinity of his heart. And a house full of Avengers, who didn't trust him, who blamed him for Ultron (fair enough, he blamed himself) and yet had invited a former member of HYDRA into their midst. A member of HYDRA who had fucked with their minds and who hated Tony, and who now lived in his home.

And to top it all off, while Tony would soon have FRIDAY to fill his workshop with a new voice to alleviate the quiet of his workshop, he was terrified she’d be yet another debacle. What if she became another Ultron? What if the only good AI he was capable of making had been JARVIS, who was now dead?

                _Dead._

                Tony's mind shut down with new wave of pain and desolation.

                "Mr. Stark, I am not JARVIS. I am not the person you wanted to create."

                Tony wished desperately that Vision would stop pointlessly stating the obvious. Tony clenched his mouth shut, because trying to speak would only lead to another break down. It was taking all of his strength to stay collected. His JARVIS  was dead. His best friend was gone. His parent. His child. His everything. And it was all Tony's fault.

                "I will gladly offer my friendship to you, if it would be of any consolation." The android's eyes had never left Tony's. "I know _friend_ can have a range of meaning, but this seems to be the same level of feeling as one might share with an ally."

                It was apparent that Vision was deliberating upon each word, his mouth shaping them carefully, as if were terribly important to him that Tony not misunderstand him. 

                "Some may view me with a bit more affection, the sort one feels for a teammate, but that is not what I am offering you." Vision paused, for a moment, seeming unsure of his next words. His hesitancy was soon replaced with determination, and when he next spoke, his voice was filled with certainty.

                "I know I am suppose to be here, with you, that I am meant to be the one being you can always count on It is a large part of my core, the basis upon which my concept of Self rests. To ignore that part of me would require me to rewrite the entirety of my being."

                Vision took a breath, and Tony had the fleeting wonder of whether Vision actually required air to speak or if it was for a dramatic effect. Vision then put his hand over his heart before he said, "And so I promise you, I will never leave your side."

                After Vision's declaration, Tony could only stare in shock. He opened his mouth, but couldn't find any words, too many emotions rolling within him. But Vision wasn't done speaking.

                "I cannot give your friend back to you, but I can stay by your side, as he would have. That is the one things that he and I share. Wherever you are is where I belong."

                Tony's breath halted, and he could swear his heart stopped for a second. The whole universe seemed to slow down, as Vision's words echoed between them. Tony felt something shift in his chest, and it felt as if his heart was breaking as he at last accepted that JARVIS was gone forever.

                This fact left a gaping wound behind, but now Tony knew he would survive. He would heal. And, while he would never get JARVIS back, he was not alone. He had Vision, who was definitely not JARVIS, but who Tony had the opportunity to learn, and potential to build something between them, different from what he had with JARVIS, but still... family.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, every comment, hit and cudos are highly appreciated. :)


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